Do not use specific names or profane, intimidating comments.Call a friend and ask them to write their views as well.

First  and foremost,  I do not think he did this on purpose. It is my understanding that he broke his nose following a fall from the stage on which he was singing many years ago.

Following that particular stage related surgery, he actually looked pretty good and normal. However, a funny thing happened on the way to plastic surgery lane.  It was never, just right,  lending itself to more and more corrective and  enhanced surgery  as he traveled down the well trodden road to addiction.

Even then, Michael was still mesmerizing. I remember when I heard his first song,with some of my favorite words in the song “Come here girl, I think I love you”. Well, we all fell in love with Michael ‘s   shy , simple , warm  personality and extreme talent.

It is my belief that Michael’s nose was functioning at “end stage” level thus limiting his ability to breathe adequately, especially under stressful situations such as major dance routines. I suspect he was looking for the anesthesia-like drugs to help him  sleep because he normally could not breathe well through the nose at night. This is certainly  my point of view. However, he could not go forever without sleeping and needed supervision in order for this drug to be  administered. It is not clear why this was not done safely in a hospital,setting, possibly because he could not live in a hospital.  We all make mistakes.

Whatever happened at this time is really of no consequence other than possibly to increase awareness of  many out there who want to change themselves. In America, most never feel they look ” good enough”. We have lotions and potions and plastic surgery.  As a female Board Certified Psychiatrist, I have treated a number of females with similar plastic surgery concerns. It never turns out just perfect and many who try it are never satisfied because they are not satisfied with themselves  from the beginning .

Michael, you have given this country and the world so much. We do not blame you for trying to live and function. We just didn’t want to see you leave, especially when you were just coming back to us.  Even now, you have helped many to realize the perils and addiction of plastic surgery. This may help save many lives and help young people  “just say no”.

As an adoring  female who has been there since your first song,  I and millions of others throughout the world say to you, ” We love you and miss you already. Keep singing in Heaven for each of us”.

Sincerely,

DrMarion Dunn

When one goes to the doctor he or she usually comes out with a pill , several prescriptions, or a bag of samples. And yes, I prescribe medications for my clients. However, I am not pleased with the large number of medicationss which most clients are now coming to me with. Once they are on these medications ,they want to continue and ask for even more. If they are taken off abruptly, they often have withdrawal effects, especially on the minor tranquilizers which include Valium, Xanax, Ativan and others. It has become the antithesis of who I  am,  especially as  someone who also practices complementary medicine or holistic medicine as some call it. I do not like giving several pills or large dosages, however, these medications do have their place and they are very helpful , especially when clients come to hospital in an acute state and we only have so many days per insurance to work with them, thus limiting changes or attempting to switch medications. I prefer to see the effects of meds for a few days before discharging patients. Unfortunately when patients come in following an overdose, the first thing they ask is to ” go home now” and not in a very nice voice.

Even though I am not eager to prescribe medications, I do. I do   because there are conditions that need to be treated early and consistently in ordere to lessen any long term mental illness. I really enjoy working with clients of all ages and especially enjoy sharing with them the skills to deal with some of the stressors in their lives.

I enjoy sharing with my panic attack patients how to breathe to relax. It really works well for many who just stop breathing when they get upset. I also use essential oils that can calm the most agitated and hyper patients in just 1 to 2 minutes just by pouring 1 to 2  drops into their hands then cupping hands over mouth and nose for 1 to 2 minutes. It is very exciting to see the immediate change with my office patients. We cannot use these in the hospitals.

There is a great deal of discernment that I depend on to give patients the best care that I can. Many times when big strong , sad, angry men have a breakthrough and soften and start crying it is very rewarding to know that I have begun a positive change in their lives through their outlook on life.  I just love it when this happens, which fortunately is frequent. Of course, I realize that all of this wisdom did not come directly from me, but from help above.

I rely on discernment and listening skills to get through the mazes in patient’s lives. Except during emergencies, I always wait for discernment to help guide me in what to say and what to order.  It can be a little confusing when working with other psychiatrists who may have differing views on the medications, but we are all here to help. Often when one doctor covers for another, medications are changed. Many times  this is helpful because they may  see the patient in a different light  and at an earlier or later stage in the patient’s progress.

For more on America’s love affair with pills, join me next time as I talk about kids. What are we teaching them?

First and foremost, we should  celebrate Father’s Day every day. To be able to even say we have a dad that we know and who is active in our lives is a real blessing and no, fathers do not always tell us what we want to hear. That’s where the learning of life’s lessons come in.

We  can celebrate this day in may ways such as letting fathers know we love them, starting by telling them this and how we appreciate their role in our lives . We can celebrate Father’s Day in other  ways ,such as :

Simply spending time with Dad.

Sharing fun experiences.

Simply saying “Thank you dad for still being here”.

Encouraging your kids to respect  their dad.

Remembering the good times of dad’s still living and those gone on , but are still in our lives in many ways.

And, you can always give a  little gift ,or nice card, and even throw a little money on this day into dad’s pocket, especially if he is retired and you are working and able to do so. Money is something that touches one emotionally and physically.

To Dads Themselves

Dare to be a good dad.

Dare to be there “physically and mentally” for your child.

Discipline yourself as you disipline your child. Discipline is set by example, not just talk.

Show your child how to treat a female well and how to respect and listen to them.

Dare to spend quiet ,communing time with your kids, saying little but enjoying the essence of their company.

Dare to treat your kids with respect, not yelling and threatening.

Dare to treat their mother with respect which is an outreach of loving your children and the mother who gave them to you.

Last, but not least, dare to appreciate each child in their own loving way and in the essence of your relationship.

Dare to give them quiet time, as well as fun times.

Dare to love each child with all your heart, no matter their actions.

May you have many more Father’s Day moments.  Love you dad.

Sincerely,

Your daughter,

Marion

With the population getting older  and amidst such worldly turmoil, many are at a loss as to who they can go to in the quiet moments of the day or night to talk with.  There are many feelings the care giver may experience. Some of these feelings are:
Feelings of guilt for even feeling tired and irritable.

Feeling tired and fearful of not being able to keep up with all the demands.

Feeling there are others in one’s life that feel the loss of you.

Financial issues. Many times it may cost money to help anyone in distress. Medical equipment, special related health care items, medications and others needs may come up.

Who do you voice your concerns to and even when you do,  you feel guilty.

What do you do when you become so tired  you can hardly function, yet know that you must continue?

Where do you find the time?

One major underlying issue  is  you realize you are helping this person because you love them . You also may  feel that if you do not help, they may become more ill. You also want to know that if something happens to this person, you have done the best that you can do.

For some answers to the above questions. Let’s take a closer look.

Re: Feelings of guilt for feeling tired and irritable. It is up to you to set limits and get your rest. You may be doing more than you need. Examine how you might receive more help from your loved on, and from other relatives and friends. Encourage  your loved one to do more little things for themselves. Take a nap when they take a nap.  Do not volunteer so much. Once you have done the basics, wait for them to ask ( if they can talk). Give them the freedom to do for themselves.

Re: Fearful of not being able to keep up. Pace yourself. It is your responsbility to keep yourself healthy or you cannot help others.

Re: Finding the time.  Do as much as you can before going into the situation so that you can  focus on your loved one, as opposed to feeling guilty or angry that you forgot to do something important before beginning care.

Re: Financial issues. Plan your budget before beoming impulsive and emotional about buying the best and the most for loved ones. Consider exploring the assets of the lvoed one and how they may use some these assets to help pay for care.

Re: Who do you turn to for emotional support? Your best friend or partner are  usually  good sources and may even have similar experiences as you. However, try not to burden them with long, tedious , repetitious conversations. Be short in explaining feelings, then listen and try not to interrupt.  You do not want to alienate your biggest support system or drain their energy. Thank them for listening and ask how they are doing as well.

Re: Why do we take care of others( not including paid services). We love them tremendously. We love the fact that one who has brought such joy in our lives is in need and we can help. We are grateful we have the mental and physical stamina, as well as financial ability to help. Our biggest underlying feeling many times  is that ” we get more out of caring for them than they may get out of being cared for. No one wants to be cared for because they cannot do for themselves. It is often embarrassing and humiliating to them to now need a child’s help and not be able to tell the kids what to do. Be gentle with them.  They need you, but you also need them. You see, this is all in the scheme of loving . We are blessed to be able to take care of them. Most of us would not have it any other way. Love you Mom and Dad.

Why you are helping.

Do you ever wonder when your life will settle down without so many semi ,and full emergency situations?

An emergency is essentially how we perceive it. Someone may have a child who is ill and simply state with resolve, “we will get through this”. Another might have a heart attack or go into a deep depression.

In my work with clients who are experiencing panic attacks, I have noted many similarities across the board.  These are mostly young people in their early 20′s to late  30′s. The most frequent cause of their visits to the hospital in a panic attack is due to a breakup with a boyfriend,  girlfriend, or spouse.

When I starting practicing in Ohio, I thought, these  must be very  unusual situations  as I began  seeing 19 year old males coming in with panic attacks, and worse.  They just did not, and could not see past another day without their sweetheart who had just dumped them. I did not understand this. I’m from Michigan where if a young client broke up with their friend, they simply took a day or two off from work and kept going. In fact, in Michigan the clients would share their thoughts on these break-ups by stating ” I can go outside and stand on the front porch or go to the grocery store  and find another friend.  I don’t know which group is more committed, but each chose to handle it in a different  way.

Many times a (mental)weakness is a chosen state of mind that we use in certain situations. Excess drinking is a weakness, but it is also a choice. Drugs become a weakness, and are also a choice.

Is your weakness the wrong choice in a select number of situations?  Some basic weaknesses are poor self-esteem, not listening to those who truly want and can help, not doing your homework, in a situation, impulsiveness,  and other attitudes where help is needed.

And yes, there are those situations where through long periods of separation , such as with out soldiers in the war,  it is too much to bear when they are serving our country and their support crumbles.

Panic attacks , which include racing thoughts, marked anxiety, trouble breathing, depression, impulsivity, heightened emotions , dizziness, chest pain, and weakness to name a few, can be prevented.

First and foremost during these times, one needs to focus on breathing. Take deep breaths in and hold them for 5 to 10 seconds, then whistle them out slowly with your eyes closed. Only when you start deep breathing and giving the brain the oxygen it needs to function in a calm manner, will you tame the fear and anxiety. It sounds simple, but my clients say it works for them!

Once you realize your weaknesses, take some deep breaths and listen to that little voice in the the back of your mind. It is usually right!

Join me on  my new group on “Overcome Your Weakness” at

http://groups.google.com/group/overcomeyourweakness

Regards,

DrMarion

We remember people ,especially the Vets, on Memorial Day, but how often do we thank these same people while they are alive?

Recently a dear friend of the family died. She was the most wonderful person I have met in a long time.  She was my sister’s mother-in-law and also felt like mine as well. I never heard her say a harsh word and she always had a smile.  I remember so many wonderful things about her and feel she is still here, just not in the physical presence. I also think about my brother, who died of cancer and who was my best friend. I could always count on him a give me words of wisdom in very brief statements. We were like twins since my mom had three set of twins and we were only a year apart. I miss him but I still have his presence and I smile. I’ve also received a lot of satisfaction helping his sons each semester through college. His youngest son is now choosing fromwhich major university he will get his PhD in physics and astronomy , beginning in the fall. His older son is also doing well in college and planning to graduate soon after taking some time off.

On this memorial day let us each praise and appreciate those who are still living. Do not wait until they die to tell them you love them. Often  I recommend that everyone records their loved ones’ voices. When I counsel many who are in mourning, most will  say” I miss her voice” or “I wish I could just hear his voice”.

For those with loved ones who are very ill and those with family members in the armed services, tape record their voices. You can even use a little old recorder if you do not have a digital one. You can then take it to a local internet company or record producer and have them clean it up and amplify the voice and clear any background noise. It will sound great!

To the employers out there, consider advertising “Vets Welcome” in your  employment ads. It will give thousands of vets hope and they will realize that indeed, someone cares enough to put their money where their mouth is.

Last, but not least, let us not forget what those who have served in the armed services are still experiencing. My dad is an 83  year old  World War II  Veteran. I did not know he was shot in the war until two or three years ago when he was standing outside on the porch scratching his back against the screen door. I asked,”dad what’s wrong”? He said” nothing, it’s just where I was shot in the war”. I never knew. He never talked about it. He then went on to slowly tell me what happened at that time. However, late on he told me that when he was  a teenager in the service his jeep turned over and he was pinned under it and it severed his hip and he was in the hospital for several months. Some of the other guys in the jeep died.

One night when I ws spending the night with my parents, I was in the guest bedroom across from my dad’s bedroom( he had such bad nightmares my mom slept inanothr bedroom after they got so bad after 40 plus years). I thought I heard something, but couldnot figure where the noise was coming from. I got up and opened dad’s room and heard him talking in his  sleep. I left my door opened and did not disturb him.Over the next hour my dad took my through a scene in World War II in vivid kaleidescope. He was the commandear for that unit and was heard telling the men on the walkie talkies to check for mnes up on the hill. He then radioed to the other group in the back to wait until the area was checked out. Then all of a sudden, dad groaned and said” Ooooh, two men down with a deep, deep groaning sadness in his voice which then trailed off.

Dad takes care of my mother who has been ill and  cooks their breakfast, washes the dishes and the clothes, then when us kids are there watching mom he spends the day on his tractor planting a large garden( several acres), cutting the grass and keeping the grounds up.

I just called my dad this morning  to tell him ” I love you dad, and I’m grateful for you for  having served in the  war for us and all that you still do”.  My dad said “Thank You” as he cried.

It was during that very cold winter that I met two young people who were experiencing depression after losing a friend. One lost a dear friend in the area. Another lost a college friend out of state.  Both losses were sudden and unaccounted for in terms of exact cause of demise. One was deemed to be from “natural causes”.

Upon closer exploration, both stated similar concerns. Their friends had been healthy and simply complained of problems breathing for only a couple of days. In both cases the cause was “unknown” according to my clients. At that time there were reports of the Bird Flu, also called the Avian Flu, which caused  quick , aggressive attacks of the lungs and mainly in the under 25 age group.

A few weeks later I was on my way back to my quarters after getting off work at the hospital and pumping gas late one evening. Immediately afterward I felt a chill. Later in my room at the hotel provided by the agency, I began having problems breathing. It quickly got to the point where I could only inhale or exhale about 25 % ,then it quickly dwindled to 10 percent. I  felt someone had put a heavy metal chain around my chest. The pain was severe and frightening . I thought I was going to die, really die. I called David, my husband of over 20 years , who was, and is my best friend and confidant ,and told him what I thought was happening, that I thought I had the Bird Flu. David calmly asked, what do you have there’? He knew I always carried immune sytem stabilizers and other natural , but potent remedies. I could barely talk, but told him I didn’t have anything with me. He suggested in a calm voice that I look again. I did and found a pack of my favorite effective product. I made it to the bathroom to get some water only to realize that my entire chest was covered with a severe red rash. I had not ever had a rash before. I then took  the powdered pack and mixed it in a glass of water, drank it, and slowly went back and sat on the bed. I knew if it was the Bird Flu this stuff would have to act fast.

After 2 minutes I slowly, and in uch pain walked back to the bathroom. The rash was starting to dissipate and I could breathe a little better but was still not out of danger. I tried to stay calm to preserve my limited oxygenation. After another 5 minutes I went back to the bathroom and checked my chest. The rash was not as bad, but still there. After another 5 minutes I was starting to breathe without  much pain, but was still very frightened. Again , I checked the mirror. the rash was gone.

I shared this with only my personal confidants due to the highly unusual nature of what had just happened. I was just glad to be alive. I had been spared. These most unusual circumstances were even more incredible due to the book I had completed…on the Bird Flu. This was truly not a conversation to “make up” , simply an unusual, but frightening  fight with destiny, one that I pray you never have. May the Swine Flu,  a possible variant of the Bird Flu, never touch you or your loved ones. May you remember to get plenty of rest, drink plenty of  clear fluids throughout the day, limit who and what you touch, and keep a positive attitude.

Sincerely,

DrMarion